Top totty is an English expression that can define a young lady, or more recently, a young man. It is complimentary in the extreme and I would love someone to describe me as top totty. The expression is familiar slang and I've heard it used many times in my life, although I don't think I've actually described anyone as such myself. Nobody in their right mind could surely be offended.
More recently the name has been given to a particularly fine blonde beer that has won awards. It is brewed by a small craft brewery, Slater's of Stafford, and is described as 'a stunning blonde beer full bodied with a voluptuous hop aroma'. The range of blonde beers developed by small breweries has enhanced the real ale drinker's taste experience and I can vouch for more than one or 2 of them.
The small breweries have also expanded the naming of beers such that we are no longer limited to Best Bitter, Bitter and Mild, as in my youth. Now we drink beers with names like Hobgoblin, Dog's Bollocks, Goliath, White Wych etc etc. The fun is drinking beers with silly names and unusual flavours. There are some fantastic ruby beers on the market, some lovely porters and even a handful of new milds. I love drinking the wide variety of real ales on offer and will go out of my way to avoid the disgusting nitro-brews. Luckily we have real ale in the George Birkbeck Bar (my post-grad drinking haunt) although both the Doom Bar and Directors had run dry last night.
Sadly I think we will be denied the opportunity to try 'Top Totty' at Birkbeck because of political correctness. This fine award winning ale was on sale in the Strangers' Bar in the Palace of Westminster until the fun detectors stepped in and had the brew removed. There was nothing wrong with the beer, but the pump plate contained a representation of a nubile blonde lady in bunny girl outfit. This was deemed as offensive by fun-detector in chief Kate Green MP, shadow Minister of State for Equalities (Labour - Stretford and Urmston).
Kate Green is one of those MPs who had nothing to do with her constituency prior to her selection. She is also one of Labour's token women having been selected from an all wimmin shortlist (an acceptance that she lacked the personal qualities necessary to compete in an open selection process and could only make it by using her sex to her best advantage). This sort of feminist is the worst sort. Whilst she might have been selected on merit from a field that deliberately excluded 50% (ish) of Labour Party members, she ultimately did not obtain her candidacy in an equal competition.
Those of you who know me well will be aware that I am very big on equality of opportunity and don't do quotas or positive discrimination, concepts I find offensive in the extreme. Tackling discrimination is achieved by demanding that everyone has equal opportunities.
That is by the by, the problem was that the lady in question felt that the picture objectified women. The adverts showing David Beckham in his undies objectify men in the same way. It's okay. All human beings are sexual creatures and we all think of sex several times a day - women and men. It's normal. It's healthy. It is not offensive. The lesbian MPs would have found a picture of an attractive young lady sexually appealing (my lesbian friends are more robust in their sexual attitudes than any of the men I have known in my life).
I do not know what motivates Kate Green, but she is representing a working class area and could at least adopt a working class attitude. Those of us from genuine working class backgrounds seem to have more of a 'live and let live' attitude than the middle-class socialists, who are puritan and serious in the extreme. All human beings have bodies, some of us are lumpier than others. There is nothing wrong with any human body, naked or clothed. Absolutely nothing. Some of us are prettier or more handsome than others and turn a few heads. That's normal. I look admiringly on a fine pair of breasts. Girls like callipygian men; I like callipygian girls. Ms Green was married - surely her husband had something more than a ready wit and great intellect (my selling points, along with a tenderness and patience in bed that guarantees orgasms galore, as it turns out). Has Ms Green never fantasised about naked men? Has she never felt the urge to be spanked over her desk? She must have led a very dull life if she has no peccadilloes or sexual fantasies.
Sadly there seems to be something wrong with this woman (IMHO) and she now wants a dignity at work debate in the House of Commons. What a waste of time. Why are British feminists so embarrassing? What about a debate about forced marriages, female circumcision or honour killings? These things affect young girls in our community. Girls with UK passports are shipped to Africa and Asia for a 'holiday' and their labia and clitorises are sliced off. Other girls have been murdered for not complying with some macabre mediaeval approach to male dominance. Young girls with UK passports are forced into marriages against their will, despite the government's best efforts. Other women's issues include the fact that women in the sex industry, particularly prostitutes, cannot ply their trade in safety because of puritanical restrictions that discriminate against working women. These are real issues that remain unresolved, yet Ms Green thinks that seeing a bunny girl is offensive (did she never see those male beefcakes who danced in their thongs?).
For Ms Green, should she stage through, here are some images that sexualise men:
http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=male+dancers&hl=en&prmd=imvns&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=Jv8qT7znIsqXOv3rxZoO&sqi=2&ved=0CD4QsAQ&biw=1366&bih=643
I leave you with an image to conjure up. When I was 20 I lived in a house in Finsbury. There were 5 or 6 of us, IIRC. I was the only straight guy. One of the regular visitors was Terry O'Neill, a caption writer from Reuters, who was also a poet. Terry was a tall man with a beer gut to die for. He used to walk the streets of Islington wearing nothing but a kaftan and sandals. He described himself as Islington's international poet and produced a wonderful book of poetry that included a poem entitled, 'I wish I was a bunny boy.' Terry performed this on stage wearing a pink, crotch hugging, bunny boy outfit. I wonder what Ms Green would have made of a 6' 6" middle aged gay guy in a pink bunny outfit!
(To Terry and my gay friends I owe a lot - I was taken to some of the best gay bars in London and learnt things my mother never told me.)
